Have you ever noticed
by Psychodahlia
Summary: Dee and Ryo ponder the biggest mystery of the series: why are there so many gay cops in their precinct? Rating is just to be safe.


"Have you ever noticed..." Dee leaned back in his chair. "...just how many gay guys work at this precinct?"  
  
Ryo thought about the question and nodded. "I've been wondering about that."  
  
"There's you, me, JJ, Berkie-kins..." Dee counted off on his fingers.  
  
"Berkie-kins?"  
  
"That's what Agent Spacey calls him." The two looked at each other and cracked up. "We'll get him on that one. Who else is gay around here?"  
  
"Andie from Forensics." Ryo blushed. "I didn't tell you that though."  
  
"Gotcha." Dee put his feet up on the desk and chuckled. "Looks like the only straight folks around this station are the Chief and Ted."  
  
"Drake's straight isn't he?"  
  
Dee shook his head. "He walks down the middle of the street."  
  
Ryo blinked. "Say what?"  
  
"He likes both birds and bees."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"He's bi." Dee stated in a flat, dull tone. Smiling tolerantly at his lover's naiveté he reached over to ruffle the older man's light brown hair. "You're so cute when you're confused."  
  
Ryo waved the hand away. "And just how would you know that Drake is bisexual?"  
  
"I slept with him."  
  
"What?" Ryo stared, unable to believe the words that had just passed from his dark haired lover's mouth.  
  
Drake laughed. "Don't give me that look. It was before you transferred here. A long time ago." He sipped his coffee and frowned as it was now cold. "We were both drunk and horny."  
  
Ryo shook his head and went back to concentrating on the report before him. It wasn't due for another week but as his mother had always said 'let nothing be left for tomorrow that can be done today'. "You are such a pervert."  
  
"Thank you." Dee threw his empty coffee cup in the trash and checked his watch. "You done with that report yet?" When there was no response he waved his hand in front of Ryo's face. "Yoohoo?"  
  
"No." was Ryo's only response.  
  
"No?"  
  
"No, I am not done with the report."  
  
Dee frowned. "Are you mad at me because I slept with Drake a very, very long time ago?"  
  
"No."  
  
"...Ryo?"  
  
"......"  
  
"Ryo, look at me."  
  
"......"  
  
"Ryo, look at me now."  
  
Ryo raised his head. The minute he did so Dee cupped his chin and brought him closer into a deep, French kiss. For thirty seconds their tongues played with each other before Ryo pulled himself away, gasping.  
  
"Dammit Dee!"  
  
The perpetrator smirked. "I do believe I told you never to dismiss me again. Looks like I'm going to have to remind you..." His hand slowly moved up his neck and removed the dark green tie. Erotically, he began unbuttoning his white dress shirt as he stood up and maneuvered his way over to Ryo's desk. "C'mon Lovebug, take 'em off."  
  
"Wha...no!" Ryo blushed. "We're at work and the door's unlocked and....Dee!" He fiercely grabbed on to his pants as his partner in more ways than one tried to take them off.  
  
"Come to the Dee."  
  
Ryo twitched. "That was just odd....hey!"  
  
Twenty minutes later he was spread out over his desk gasping for breath. "God....damn...it! Dee...that was..."  
  
"Incredible? Wonderful? Spectacular?"  
  
"I was going to say 'wrong' but those work."  
  
Dee wobbly stood up for a moment as he pulled on his pants and let flash a trademark grin. He buckled them and fell back into his chair while Ryo slowly stood up and did the same.  
  
"Ow."  
  
"We'll use lube next time." Dee promised.  
  
"Next time you'll warn me and we'll be at home." Ryo winced as he grabbed his shirt from off the floor.  
  
Before Dee could respond there was a knock at the door and both men glanced at each other. "Just a minute!" Ryo hollered out. "Where's my tie?"  
  
"Uh....here's your left shoe."  
  
"Where's the other one?"  
  
"You two in there?" JJ called out from the other side. Dee grimaced.  
  
"JJ! Stay outside for a minute!" He looked around the room before his eyes landed on a supply closet. "C'mon Ryo." He dragged his half-dressed boy-toy over and threw him in.  
  
"Why do I have to go in the closet?"  
  
"Because I'm dressed." Dee grinned and landed a swat on Ryo's backside. "I'll let you out once I get rid of JJ."  
  
"Dee wait...!" The door slammed in Ryo's face, leaving his in darkness.  
  
Dee rushed to pick up the assortment of clothing lying around the office and had just stuffed his own right sock in a drawer when JJ entered.  
  
"My manly stud!"  
  
"Yeah. Hi JJ. You can let go now."  
  
"How I have missed you!"  
  
"Um...I can't...."  
  
"Couldn't we hold each other like this forever?"  
  
"Breathing....not...optional...."  
  
"Just you and me together in a long, passionate embrace."  
  
Dee couldn't imagine anything worse. He scrambled his way out of JJ's arms and fought to catch his breath. When his lungs had inflated back to their original shape and he was breathing properly he glanced at the oblivious JJ. "Was there something you wanted?"  
  
"To be with you forever and ever."  
  
"That it?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"No...wait! Yes, the Chief wants to see you in his office. Something about you not filling out forms correctly."  
  
"That it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Just as Dee was considering a revival of the age old practice of 'kill the messenger' the closet door opened and Ryo came out of the closet.  
  
"Ryo?" JJ was stunned.  
  
"Dee!" Ryo rushed to his lover.  
  
"JJ..." Dee slowly backed away from the smaller man, who looked ready to kill. He noticed Ryo hiding behind him and twitched. 'Coward.'  
  
JJ burst into tears. "Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Could you how?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"He means 'How could you?'" Ryo volunteered, still cowering.  
  
"Oh."  
  
All the noise and tumult eventually drew the attention of one Drake Parker, who invited himself into the office. Scratching his head he was intrigued to see a half-dressed Ryo cowering behind a sloppily dressed Dee. It was not hard to guess what had been going on and a crying JJ in the mix just confirmed the theory.  
  
"So, what have YOU guys been doing?"  
  
"Cheating on me with that bitch!"  
  
"I am not cheating on you! Cheating would mean you and I were going steady and we are not!"  
  
JJ found comfort in crying on Drake's shoulder. "He was cheating on me!"  
  
Drake rolled his eyes and patted JJ on the back. "There there."  
  
"Drake, do me a favor and get him out of here." Dee sighed.  
  
"No problemo, but you owe me for this." Drake 'calmly' escorted JJ out of the room against the latter's will and closed the door. When they heard the door click shut Dee and Ryo both heaved sighs of relief.  
  
"Y'know, having so many gay guys working here isn't such a bad thing." Ryo said as he fished out his clothes from where Dee had hidden them.  
  
"It's not a bad thing at all."  
  
Finite  
  
Author's notes- This came from a review from my other Fake story which pointed out how much fun could be had with the observation that every other cop in the story is gay. Many thanks to The Bard's Apprentice for the inspiration.  
  
Just so you all know, I'm a firm believer that Drake is bisexual.  
  
Favorite Fake quote of the moment- 'Wow, look at you JJ, being helpful. Who'd have thunk?' Bikky.  
  
Everything think Fake related belongs to the creator. 


End file.
